The best war jokes

Q: Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes on them? A: So that when they come into port, they can Scandinavian.
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has 65.80 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, navy, war
During the Iraq war, a Lieutenant asked the soldier why he was falling back during a really fierce battle, "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The soldier replied, "I got my four Sir."
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has 65.68 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: military, war
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: accountant, college, ethnic, money, war
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
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has 62.40 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it." -People
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: mean, war
Q: Why do Soviet soldiers always miss? A: They have terrible Marxmanship.
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, management, war
Chuck norris was born on May 6 1945. De Nazi surrenderd on May 7 1945.
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has 58.62 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, time, war
How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic? He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geography, health, war
Why were so many niggers killed in the Vietnam war? Because when the sergeant said to "get down", they all got up and started dancing.
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has 58.17 % from 617 votes. More jokes about: black people, war
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia. Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure." Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..." What to do? Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea. So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?" The Chinese replies: "Right now!" Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic... Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, political, war, winter, work