The best war jokes

An accountant is walking along the beach (also, not the joke) and he finds an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it and of course, a genie appears. The genie says "I am the most powerful genie that has ever lived. I can do great and wonderful things and I can grant you your dearest wish. But only one." Well, this accountant is a deeply caring individual. He pulls out a map of the Mediterranean area and says, "My dearest wish is that you solve the Arab-Israeli conflict in the Middle East." The genie strokes his beard and looks worried. "Oh dear, " he says , staring at the map. "That's a tough one. Those people have been fighting for eons. No one has been able to come up with a successful solution. I'm not sure if I could do any better. You should probably make another wish." The accountant is understanding and says, "All right. Listen, the IRS has asked me to re-design their 1040 form so that everyone can understand it. Can you help me with that?" There's a long silence and finally the genie says, "Let's have another look at that map."
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: accountant, genie, war, work
Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
How do you know Charles Sweeney was dyslexic? He wanted to order the flaming saganagi, but he accidentally ordered a flaming Nagasaki.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, geography, health, war
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
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has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
During the Iraq war, a Lieutenant asked the soldier why he was falling back during a really fierce battle, "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The soldier replied, "I got my four Sir."
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has 63.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: military, war
Q: Why do Swedish battleships have barcodes on them? A: So that when they come into port, they can Scandinavian.
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has 62.61 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, navy, war
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 61.92 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, military, war
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
Why were so many niggers killed in the Vietnam war? Because when the sergeant said to "get down", they all got up and started dancing.
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has 58.57 % from 598 votes. More jokes about: black people, war