The best winter jokes

Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf? A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter? A: They're easier to spot.
Vote: has 68.17 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, racist, vulgar, winter
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
Vote: has 67.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, food, winter