Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf? A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter? A: They're easier to spot.
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"