The best winter jokes

Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance? A: To snowballs.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: travel, winter
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
Vote: has 71.22 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter? A: They're easier to spot.
Vote: has 70.68 % from 143 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, racist, vulgar, winter
Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf? A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hipster, love, winter
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia. Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure." Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..." What to do? Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea. So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?" The Chinese replies: "Right now!" Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic... Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, political, war, winter, work
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport, winter
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, food, winter