What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rustling!
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.