What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch? A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!