What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?" The clerk says to her, "Just a second." The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
Question: How many men does it take to open a beer? Answer: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it.
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.