Best jokes ever

In the High Court: Do you know what you get for false testimony? Yes, they promised me a Mercedes...
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, lawyer
An investment advisor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers. "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?" "Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case." "Impresive. And what sort of case was that?" asked the investment advisor. The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!" "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" "No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court." Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It really worked!" Confidently the lawyer responded, "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them." "But I did send them.", replied the man. "What?" shouted the lawyer. "I sure did, that's how we won the case... good thing I remembered to enclose the plaintiff's business card."
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, doctor, life
TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you? CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking? TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking. CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that? TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank. CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out? TECH: I'm not sure I understand? CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Yo mama
A man is talking to the tax inspector who’s come to review his records. The inspector says, ‘As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to pay them with a smile.’ ‘Thank God for that,’ replies the man. ‘I thought you were going to ask for cash.’
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Yo' Mama is so fat, politicians fight over redistricting her ass.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, political, Yo mama


<<<1025102610271028
More jokes →
Page 1025 of 1380.