A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
A: He wanted maximum isolation.
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Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it?
A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!”
Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?”
Boy: “No.”
Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.”
Boy: “And do you know who I am?”
Girl: “No,”
Boy: “Thank goodness!”
Question: What do women and Slinkies have in common?
Answer: Not really too much, but you can’t help but crack a smile when one tumbles down the stairs.
The president of the USA lives in the White House.
Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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