If Chuck Norris were to write his own "Chuck Norris Facts", this website would have to be changed to "Chuck Norris Laws.com".
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Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common?
A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?"
The dad replies, "Sure you are son.
Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear."
Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?"
She answers, "Of course you are honey.
Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear."
Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?"
His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie.
Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear.
Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
Question: How is a woman like a laxative?
Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ?
A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man?
A: A lazy b*tch.
Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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John: How old are you?
Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7
John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.
Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
A: Chuck Norris' fist
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