A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family?
A: The Sole inbred.
Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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I always look for a woman who has a tattoo.
I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
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