Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it.
Why?
Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex.
No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.
Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
Vote:
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ?
A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.
What’s the difference between a nigger and a car tire?
The tire doesn’t sing when you put it chains!
Vote:
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
A: He wanted maximum isolation.
Vote:
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period".
His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells".
Johnny asks what color is it.
She says it's red.
Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."