Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.