Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
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Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
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Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
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Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
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