Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
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Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a will.
Invincible people don't need them.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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