Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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