Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
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Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
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Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
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Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger, a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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