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After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" "No." A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg. "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly. "That's not my dog."
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There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck. And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.
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What do you get when you eat a prune pizza? Pizzeria!
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Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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I gave up alcohol last year. It was the longest 20 minutes of my life.
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what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute chicken goes cockadoodle do prostute goes any cock will do.
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There was a man who had at least four to five drinks of whisky every day of his adult life. When he died, they cremated him, and it took two days to put out the fire!
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More jokes about: alcohol