Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Q: Do you know what a Mexican motorcycle sounds like?
A: Cavrone puta puta puta.
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Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
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In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
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Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
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There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout.
Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today."
The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?"
Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
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The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’