A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
What do Scientists have for snacks? Micro-chips.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Yo momma’s so fat, she sells shade in the summer.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.
What's a rabbits favorite song? "Hoppy Birthday to You."
Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat. Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears. After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him. Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing. "Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom. "Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry. Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.