Yo mama breath stanks so bad, instead of using baking soda, it smells like she uses baking ass!
Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
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The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
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Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website?
Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you.
Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
Why do niggers carry shit in their wallet?
Identification.
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So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer.
At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?"
Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
Chuck Norris can set the oven to cold.
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