The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?" Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do." First boy: "What's a witch do?" Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."
Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces. So too has his boot.
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
Q: What's the difference between a black fairy tale and a white one? A: White one starts like "once upon a time" Black one starts like " y'all muthaf*ckas gotta here dis"
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.