Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
I gave up alcohol last year. It was the longest 20 minutes of my life.
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute chicken goes cockadoodle do prostute goes any cock will do.
There was a man who had at least four to five drinks of whisky every day of his adult life. When he died, they cremated him, and it took two days to put out the fire!
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.
They say whisky and petrol don’t mix. They do, but it doesn’t taste nice.
Yo mamma's so stupid she got trapped in a bathroom and wet her pants!
After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel. He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. "But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel." "I insist on another room!!!" said the drunk. "Very good, sir. I'll change you from 502 to 525. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk. "Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire."
A man goes into a pub and says, ‘I’d like something tall, icy and full of gin.’ The barman turns and shouts into the kitchen, ‘Oi, Doris! Someone to see you!’