Best jokes ever

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.
Vote: has 47.61 % from 328 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, technology
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..
Vote: has 47.50 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, black people, music
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?" And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
Vote: has 47.49 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
Vote: has 47.46 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
Vote: has 47.46 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, food, heaven
How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
Vote: has 47.46 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people
There's a new pain reliever for wives that relieves the headache caused by a husband who never remembers your anniversary. It's called "Jackasspirin."
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, husband, wife
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beauty, business
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men