Q: How many cops does it take to arrest a Mexican?
A: Eight. One to carry him, the rest to carry his oranges.
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Vote:
Two random variables were talking in a bar.
They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
Vote:
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ?
One's composing, the other is decomposing.
Vote:
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Vote:
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
Why are women like parking spaces?
Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town?
He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.