I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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Two random variables were talking in a bar.
They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
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What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ?
One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town?
He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
Why are women like parking spaces?
Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.