Doc, every time after sex I hear whistle. What's your age? 70. You know, this is very natural. It would strange if you heard applause...
Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador.
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents. Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha. Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown? A: A dino-score.
Chuck Norris found the 51st shade of gray.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
A Muslim safely departs from a plane.