Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony?
A: The blond girl told him to come outside
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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What is a buttress?
A female goat.
Crude & Rude Dude A man's driving happily along in his car when he's pulled over by the police.
The policeman approaches him and asks "Have you been drinking Sir?"
"Why?" asks the man, "have I got a fat chick in my car?"