Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
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"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
Yo mama so ugly that the football team yelled at her to get out of the bus.
Chuck Norris discovered America.
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Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
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At a Whitehouse party for past presidents.
Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha.
Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
What did the PENCIL say to the SHARPENER? STOP GOING IN CIRCLES AND GET TO THE POINT
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch...
Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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