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Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
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Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
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Yo momma so ugly that she made all her blind kids cry.
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”
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Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
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A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club. Police are looking into it.
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Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
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There's a blonde walking down a trail. She comes to a river and stops. She looks right then left. She sees another blonde on the other side. She asks her "how do you get to the other side?" The blonde on the other side look right then left and says "you are on the other side"!
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What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat? Bone appetit!
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