What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
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Thomas Edson made a shadow on a paper that Chuck Norris was reading, then Thomas Edson decided to create the electric light.
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The names 'Adam and Eve' were simply coverups.
They were really Chuck and Norris.
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"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
A: Because 69's a mouthful.
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.”
“I’m surprised,” said the owner.
“I’ve never taught that bird to swear.”
“Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor.
“But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
A Blonde was at a gumball machine.
She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out.
The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball.
She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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