Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
A Lalu brought a simple, spendthrift wife from a small town in Bihar. He convinced her that they should go for Honeymoon. The wife would not understand complex term as honeymoon and kept asking for explanation. Lalu said, "Let me feel you my manhood in Honeymoon and you would know." They went. Had lots of fun and came back. Wife back at home asked, "I still don’t understand what is this honeymoon that we went for." The Husband said, "Oh, we were together, had so many hugs, kisses, varieties of sex, jokes, fun all that is honeymoon." The spendthrift wife got angry, "You should have told me that before. Back in town, Malu, Kalu, Suru and I were together all the times, and had this fun without spending a dime of my money."
In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"