Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".

Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!

Chuck Norris discovered America.

Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.

What did the PENCIL say to the SHARPENER? STOP GOING IN CIRCLES AND GET TO THE POINT

Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.

Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.