Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
A: Because 69's a mouthful.
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.”
“I’m surprised,” said the owner.
“I’ve never taught that bird to swear.”
“Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor.
“But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
A Blonde was at a gumball machine.
She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out.
The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball.
She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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My wife is temperamental.
Fifty per cent temper and 50 per cent mental.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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