Best jokes ever

Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, internet, IT
God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said say please.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god
Yo Momma's a bowling ball. She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter. Then she comes rolling back for more.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, sport, Yo mama
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, work
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, health
Yo momma’s so fat, her belt size is the equator.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
A wife tells her husband: "We never go out anywhere…" "Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me…"
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, work
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment. "Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back." "I had the same thing man," his friend says. "All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes." "That's it?" the guy asked. "I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the damn rodents." About a week later the guy gets a call. "How's it going with the mice, buddy?" "Not so good, dude." "What's the problem?" his friend asks. "To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school