Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare.
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy! And if there is anything you need, just let me know. Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack. St Peter says “Here you go” and goes to leave when the forester says “Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?” St. Peter says: “Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before.”
‘Money frees you from doing things you dislike, since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.’ Groucho Marx
Yo mamma so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.
Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
"May I buy half a rabbit?" "No, we don't split hares."
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says: Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
Q: How long does the Easter Bunny like to party? A: Around the cluck!