Best jokes ever

1. You have the right to remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me. 2. Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth. 3. You have the right to have your lawyer run with you. Should he refuse, a recent Law School graduate will be appointed by the court to jog along with you. 4. If while running, you suddenly decide to end the race, beware that my K-9 may or may not understand your intentions, and may continue his persuit of you in full stride. 5. You may stop running at any time, at your own risk. 6. Good luck. On your mark, get set....GO!!!!!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: cop
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A woman applies for a job in a lemon grove. ‘Have you got any experience picking lemons?’ asks the foreman. ‘I certainly have,’ says the woman. ‘I’ve been married four times.’
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
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