Best jokes ever

How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
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Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
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Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A. She kept having affairs with men!
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An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
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Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.
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Yo momma’s so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H —— d.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, she has to get her vibrator drunk first.
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What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
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Q:What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar? A:"Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
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What’s the difference between a nigger and a pizza? Pizza doesn’t scream in the roaster!
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More jokes about: black people, food