Best jokes ever

‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen
Vote:
has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Vote:
has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Vote:
has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, geek, IT
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Vote:
has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Vote:
has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing." The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?" "A month." "Why did you wait so long to report it?" "Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn’t have any clean clothes to wear."
Vote:
has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: cop, marriage, wife
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Vote:
has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, tax, work
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..
Vote:
has 45.62 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, music
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
Vote:
has 45.60 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, men
<<<1047104810491050
More jokes →
Page 1047 of 1428.