Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Crude & Rude Dude A man's driving happily along in his car when he's pulled over by the police. The policeman approaches him and asks "Have you been drinking Sir?" "Why?" asks the man, "have I got a fat chick in my car?"
Money is not everything. There’s also MasterCard and Visa.
A private was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. ‘You can take your choice, Private – one month’s restriction or twenty days’ pay,’ said the officer. ‘All right, sir,’ said the bright soldier, ‘I’ll take the money.’
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man? A. An oxymoron.
Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
Chuck Norris passed a kidney stone once. That stone is now known as The Death Star.
Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks her binoculars are opera glasses.