How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A. She kept having affairs with men!
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.
Yo momma’s so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H —— d.
Yo momma’s so ugly, she has to get her vibrator drunk first.
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
Q:What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar? A:"Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
What’s the difference between a nigger and a pizza? Pizza doesn’t scream in the roaster!