Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
Q: "What do you call a Muslim shrink? A: A terrorpist."
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
Q: What's long and hard on a blackman? A: The first grade.
Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her.
Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: Gorgonzola! Wait, it is not on yet.
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8,' his friend replied. That's OK, you can always owe me the other $2!