When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
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Europe to Iceland:
Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down.
Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it?
Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH!
Iceland: Woooops...
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Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
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Johny visits the psychiatrist and tells him: "Lately I have a big problem with my memory."
The psychiatrist asks Johny: "And how does it demonstrate concretely?"
Johny: "What?"
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During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job:
"Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?"
Johny: "Openness!"
Interviewer: "But the openness isn't a weak feature!"
Johny: "Ok, but I fuck what you think!"
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Aliens do exist.
They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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The Tower of Pisa was in Chuck Norris' way.
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Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.