A private was brought up before the unit CO for some offence.
‘You can take your choice, Private – one month’s restriction or twenty days’ pay,’ said the officer.
‘All right, sir,’ said the bright soldier, ‘I’ll take the money.’
What is a buttress?
A female goat.
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man?
A. An oxymoron.
Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
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Chuck Norris passed a kidney stone once.
That stone is now known as The Death Star.
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Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony?
A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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Q: How does a blonde order a root beer?
A: Extra large, hold the roots.
How much do I owe Yo' Mama?
My dog came home happy last night.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks her binoculars are opera glasses.