During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job:
"Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?"
Johny: "Openness!"
Interviewer: "But the openness isn't a weak feature!"
Johny: "Ok, but I fuck what you think!"
Vote:
The neighbor from below told me that If I flood him once again, he will rape me.
So I turn on the water. I sit and wait.
When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
Vote:
Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
Vote:
Europe to Iceland:
Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down.
Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it?
Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH!
Iceland: Woooops...
Vote:
Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
Vote:
What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common?
They both shower after three periods!
Vote:
One day, a guy walks out from a shop to see someone PISSING on his Ferrari.
"Hey," says the man. "Why are you pissing on my Ferrari?"
"Because I feel like it."
"Tell you what -- I won't report you to the police if you can keep up with my Ferrari."
"Whatever."
So the guy gets in his car and drives off, going faster and faster, until he's hit 100 miles per hour.
Amazingly, the guy is still keeping up.
"I'm amazed," says the driver. "How are you keeping up?"
"It's easy," says the running man, "when your d**k is stuck in the door."
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so hairy, she has to part the hair on her butt to go to the bathroom.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.