Chuck Norris passed a kidney stone once. That stone is now known as The Death Star.
Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Q: How does a blonde order a root beer? A: Extra large, hold the roots.
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks her binoculars are opera glasses.
Yo' Mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks for a ski slope.