Chuck Norris passed a kidney stone once.
That stone is now known as The Death Star.
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Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony?
A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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Yo mamma so stupid she puts a piece of paper on the TV and says, "I'm watching paper-view."
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Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?
A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Q: How does a blonde order a root beer?
A: Extra large, hold the roots.
How much do I owe Yo' Mama?
My dog came home happy last night.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks her binoculars are opera glasses.
Yo' Mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks for a ski slope.