When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks her binoculars are opera glasses.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent.
Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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You said it was a great horse and it is.
It took twenty other horses to beat him!
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job?
A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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"How are your hemorrhoids?"
"Swell."
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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