Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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