Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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My friend to me "I don't understand why Chuck Norris is the butt of so many jokes."
Me to the friend "Well he does kick a lot of them."
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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