Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
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Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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