Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
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Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.
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Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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