Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."