Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
I have found a new girlfriend, so I have introduced her to my grandmother, because the is the oldest and very clever. We have spoken a little bit and so on. The next day I have asked my grandmother, what she thinks of my new girlfriend, she said only: Johny, Johny, what shall I tell you, again, you have praid not much...rnrn
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.