Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
What do you call two blacks on one bike? Organized crime!
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.