There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving. The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you ID?" The drunk man, "What drugs?"
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!