Yo momma’s so fat, her belt size is the equator.
Girl: why am I still single? Brain: you're weird as shit. Body: and you're fat. Face: plus you're pretty ugly. Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you.
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving. The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you ID?" The drunk man, "What drugs?"
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...