Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
It takes courage to say YES at the altar. It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.