The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them: If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
What does a drunk walrus have in common with a woman at a tupperware party? They're both out looking for a tight seal.
What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes? The back of her head.
What’s blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette…? A blonde doing cartwheels.
I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.
How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots? Flattered.
Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. ‘Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’
A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk. When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles.
Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. "And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?" The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, "I will have a glass of plasma." The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender, "Two bloods and a blood light."
Yo mama so stupid she stab her self with a shooting gun.