Best jokes ever

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
Yo Mamma so fat I took a picture of her last month, and it's still printing.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousn ess or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, horse, time
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo momma’s so fat, her belt size is the equator.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, technology
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, music
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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