Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis.
He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
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A drunk man was smoking drugs while driving.
The policeman stop him and says, "Show me you ID?"
The drunk man, "What drugs?"
Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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Your mama's so stupid when she saw a bus with lots of white kids in it she said stop that Twinkie.
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What are the 3 things you cannot give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, or a job.
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A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to of all people a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde.
The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”