Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much.
Chuck Norris throws down!
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Yo momma’s so ugly, people make jokes about her.
Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said: '' holy fuck we can't fix that.''
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds.
The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds.
All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.
Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong.
The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''
So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."
''Why?' asked the head nurse.
"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him.
The boy is obviously half nuts."
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment.
"Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back."
"I had the same thing man," his friend says.
"All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes."
"That's it?" the guy asked.
"I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the damn rodents."
About a week later the guy gets a call.
"How's it going with the mice, buddy?"
"Not so good, dude."
"What's the problem?" his friend asks.
"To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife.
See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation!
So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man?
No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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They say terror?
Look at Chuck.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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