There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds.
The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds.
All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.
Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong.
The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''
So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."
''Why?' asked the head nurse.
"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him.
The boy is obviously half nuts."
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment.
"Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back."
"I had the same thing man," his friend says.
"All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes."
"That's it?" the guy asked.
"I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the damn rodents."
About a week later the guy gets a call.
"How's it going with the mice, buddy?"
"Not so good, dude."
"What's the problem?" his friend asks.
"To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said: '' holy fuck we can't fix that.''
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much.
Chuck Norris throws down!
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Yo momma’s so ugly, people make jokes about her.
Goku and Superman once had a baby his name is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
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Chuck Norris was an only child.
Eventually.
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