"I hope you didn’t take it personally, Father," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon."
"I did find it rather disconcerting," the vicar replied.
"It’s not a reflection on you, Father" insisted the church goer.
"Christopher has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70?
Because 69 is such a mouthful.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigga in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
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In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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Two bloggers chatting:
Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice.
Son: Where, Give me the link please.
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal."
Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit."
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.
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