A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. “The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Husband to wife: ‘Put your coat on, I’m going to the pub.’ Wife: ‘Oh that’s nice, are you taking me for a drink?’ Husband: ‘No, I’m turning the heating off.’
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn’t the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
What is the best job in a country which is war-prone? "Foreign ambassador."
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
The anniversary of 9/11 approaches and I don't usually buy in to conspiracy theories, but did you spot that if you add 9 and 11 you get 20. And that is curiously the average IQ of an American
What are the similarities between a new wife and a tornado, there's a lot of suckin and blowin and then u lose ur house.