Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
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A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through.
The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?"
The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
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When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.