Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?
A: Line dancing at a nursing home. 
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Goku and Superman once had a baby his name is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
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A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife.
See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation!
So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man?
No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
Did you hear about Ku Klux Kineivals latest stunt?
He is going to try to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating.
The American husband asked, "how did you find out?"
The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.
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Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
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