In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
Two bloggers chatting: Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice. Son: Where, Give me the link please.
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow. The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold. So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.