The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Two blonde football fans are walking along the road when one of them picks up a mirror.
He looks in it and says, 'Hey, I know that person!'
The second one picks it up and says, 'Of course you do, you idiot, it's me'.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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A man comes home from work early to find his blonde wife in bed with three men.
Completely shocked, he shouts, "Hello, Hello, Hello!"
The blonde whines, "What? No hello for me?"
Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
Walker Texas Ranger wasn't an action crime drama, it was a documentary.
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A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal."
Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit."
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
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