Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
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Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
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Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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