Chuck Norris can divide by zero. 
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Chuck Norris once raced light.
He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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