Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
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Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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