Time travel is possible.
But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
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A man went into a bar in a high rise.
He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out.
He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar.
As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more.
Finally the man asked if he could have a pill.
The flier said it was his last one.
The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars.
The man said that it was all he had on him.
The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar.
The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death.
The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
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A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt.
She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt.
The doctor told her to demonstrate.
She touched her nose and it hurt.
She touched her stomach and it hurt.
The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes.
"Look Here Lady, your finger is broken!"
No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris.
But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
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Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
Chuck Norris doesn't moon walk, the moon Chuck-Norris Walks.
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Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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