Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
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A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt.
She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt.
The doctor told her to demonstrate.
She touched her nose and it hurt.
She touched her stomach and it hurt.
The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes.
"Look Here Lady, your finger is broken!"
Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.
Chuck Norris doesn't moon walk, the moon Chuck-Norris Walks.
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Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Yo mama so heavy that when she went in the elevator as soon as one foot goes in falls strait to the bottom.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato.
The reason Waldo hides is because he saw Chuck Norris looking for him.
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