Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves?
A: Rasin Brand.
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Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died?
A: Act stupid until I get back.
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How do you remove one thousand flies in one motion?
Slap a Kenyan in the face.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Yo momma’s so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of chess by saying "Yahtzee!"
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A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly.
After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says
"If my proof falls then I rome through the halls."
Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob.
The man is confused and says "what are you doing?"
She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some."
The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did.
Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good.
The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping
"Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch."
Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?"
She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.