What is the difference between a fridge and a kid?
A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell.
Three holy men rode a plane home.
There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end.
Who should talk him out of it.
The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live.
In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant.
And a melted black box.
The holy men still live to tell the tale.
And so does the football.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
I just recently discovered that there is a national holiday named after Atheism. April FOOLS day. Like this story in the name of Jesus.
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Miss her.
Pity her.
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!