Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas.
They made a deal.
Chuck now owns the shop.
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15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
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At school, a soldier spoke to Johnny's class.
Johnny felt enthusiastic about joining the military, so he went home and told his dad.
To his surprise, this was the biggest step forward in his life, so his dad decided to explain the military to him.
"Son, I'll teach you what you need to know about the military.
The Army and Navy are the only two REAL branches of our military.
The Marine Corps is a cult.
The Coast Guard is playing a game called 'Pretend Navy Since 1915'."
So Johnny asks his dad, "what about the Air Force?"
Johnny's dad explained to him, "well son, the Air Force is like a giant corporation.
Just a bunch of people sitting at desks playing Flight Simulator and bullshitting with each other."
By that time, Johnny was amazed and decided he wanted to join the military, but wanted to know what his daddy did.
"What did you do in the military, dad?"
"Well son, I spoke Chinese and shot at the Americans in Vietnam."
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Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever.
Me: What's that hunny?
Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk.
Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.
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What do gays call hemorrhoids ?
Speed bumps.
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Q: Where does a black jew go?
A: The back of the oven.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
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Q: What's worse than holocaust?
A: 6M Jews.
Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves?
A: Rasin Brand.
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