What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow you around for three weeks after you dump your load into it.
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do. “The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?” The little girl replied, “My homework.”
Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom? Mom: Why? my child.. Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world? A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.
There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving? Nethier, the cop is.
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.