Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
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Chuck Norris throws a dodgeball at you, knocks all your teeth out.
Then the ball hits you.
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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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