Best jokes ever

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the heck she is.
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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
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What’s it called when a blonde blows in another blonde’s ear? Data transfer.
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Yo momma’s so stupid, she cooks with Old Spice.
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‘Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
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From tomorrow you are free! The lawyer informs his client. Yes, I’m so happy, I have nothing to say, grumbled the prisoner. I torment myself for 5 years to make a rope ladder, 3 years to rasp the cage bars and you come now with the amnesty ordinance, exactly now when I wanted to break free...
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A man was found murdered in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his tub. The tub had been filled with milk, and the deceased had a banana protruding from his buttocks. Police suspect a cereal killer.
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A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead. She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head. The husband begs her not to shoot herself. The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up! You’re next!’
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Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
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Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
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