Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Vote:
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Vote:
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
Vote:
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
Vote:
Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
Vote:
What's grosser than gross?
Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.
What's grosser than that?
Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar.
What's grosser than that?
When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face.
You want to know what's grosser than that?
When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner.
But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.
Vote:
Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?
A: A private tooter.
Vote: