A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his.
At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says:
There were 24 pigs gentlemen!
Twice as much than you!
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says “Are you crazy?
You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that recognition!”
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked “How did you do it?”
“Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.
I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank.
I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up.
I said to the Arab soldier, “Do you want to get a three-day pass?
So we exchanged tanks!”
Yo momma’s so stupid, she went to a mind reader and was only charged half price.
Yo momma’s so ugly, she has to get her vibrator drunk first.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?
"To get his Quarter back."
Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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A Chuck Norris round house kick is considered the first "super-collider".
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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