Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms. The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’ ‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims. ‘I thought you rolled them on!’
What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.
Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.