A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
What did the music teacher need a ladder for? To reach the top notes.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.
Yo momma’s so ugly, she practises birth control by leaving the lights on.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, she went to a family reunion looking for a boyfriend.
Yo momma’s so fat, when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white.