Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
Yo mama is so fat a bus hit her and she said a mosquito.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.
Q: Whats faster than a black person with a TV? A: His brother with a VCR.
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked. I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
A man would come home very late and very drunk every night. His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him. When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon. He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
Chuch Norris filmed the making of the first camera.
Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.