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Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
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What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead wake up on an island with a gun. Only three bullets were in the barrel. "I'm going hunting," said the redhead, and she ran into the vegetation. She came back with a rabbit. "How did you get that?" the other two asked. "I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back. The brunette, thinking that she could do better, went out and came back with a deer. "How did you get that?" the other two asked. "I followed the tracks, shot it and brought it back. "I could do better than either of you" said the blonde and ran into the forest and came back with bruises and scrapes. "What happened?" they asked. "I followed the tracks and got hit by a train."
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Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say
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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military