Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
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What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
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Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
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Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache?
A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
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My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
Why’s a fat woman like a skateboard?
They’re both fun to ride, but you wouldn’t want your friends to see you on one.
A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick.
A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her.
‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says.
‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde.
‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds?
She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.