Best jokes ever

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
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More jokes about: car, driving, health, old people, phone
A cop asks a nigger: Can you legitimate yourself? Is this because I’m black?
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More jokes about: cop
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
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More jokes about: alcohol, cop, driving, drunk, redneck
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
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More jokes about: baby, kids
I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.
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More jokes about: sex
Jones aside. ‘You’re in perfect health,’ he says. ‘Your wife didn’t give me an erection, either.’
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More jokes about: sex
How do you save a nigger from drowning? You take your foot of his head!
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More jokes about: black humor
Man cannot live on bread alone – he needs a bit of crumpet too.
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More jokes about: sex
Why did the white chocolate was invented? So niggers can get dirty!
Vote: has 25.22 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, chocolate, racist
A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?" "Oh awful, just awful!" she replied. "What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?" "Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all." "Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked. "Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied. "Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?" "It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"
Vote: has 25.20 % from 220 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, geography, sex, travel