Best jokes ever

Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my get up and go has got up and went. But in spite of it all I am able to grin when I recall where my get up has been.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: old people
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: IT
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods... Cats have never forgotten this. Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs... You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God! Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: IT
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: Why is it so hot at Phillies games? A: Because there's not a fan in the place.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake? A: A jump rope!
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
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