Best jokes ever

A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh Goddammit, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."
Vote: has 35.87 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, atheist, bar, catholic, priest
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, military
Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards. If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up. Birth control would come in ale or lager. Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: game, marriage, Valentines day
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
I need your help making a cream sauce.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
Vote: has 35.73 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death, music
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Vote: has 35.73 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
I'd like to think inside your box.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday? A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor