Yo mama so stupid when she pays her bills she gives pennies to her cash.
Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
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Two halves make a whole.
Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
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Q: What is difference between man and Superman?
A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
Why’s a fat woman like a skateboard?
They’re both fun to ride, but you wouldn’t want your friends to see you on one.
A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick.
A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her.
‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says.
‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde.
‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds?
She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.