I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Vote:
Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals.
At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him.
"Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "It's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat!
What's up with that I wonder!"
The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife.
We went to the games together."
"Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously.
"She passed away," said the gentleman.
"Oh, I'm sorry, you could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man.
Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No, they're all at the funeral."
I think that it is better to give that to get.
You have a very generous thinking.
Are you a humanitarian?
No, I’m a boxer.
Yo mamma’s so fat, that if you throw her out the window people will start screaming:
Look, a flying saucer!
Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
Vote:
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
Yo mama so stupid when she pays her bills she gives pennies to her cash.