What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps. Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
Facebook is like a fridge. Every a few minutes you keep opening and closing it to see if there's anything good in it.
Q: Why do black people lean to the center of their car? A: They think the smell is coming from the outside.