Q: Whats different between a Mexican and a Pothole?
A: We serve when we see potholes in the middle of the road.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after.
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
What's the difference between a rooster and your mom?
A rooster says cockadoodledoo, Your mom says anycockledoo.
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Vote:
Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals.
At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him.
"Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "It's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat!
What's up with that I wonder!"
The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife.
We went to the games together."
"Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously.
"She passed away," said the gentleman.
"Oh, I'm sorry, you could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man.
Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No, they're all at the funeral."
If you want to know God’s opinion of money just look at the people He gave it to.