Jesus saves. But wouldn’t it have been better if he had invested?
We were so poor the only way I could afford to get my suit pressed was to ride the subway during rush hour.
Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A. Divorcee'
What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it!
My husband and I married for better or worse. He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.