My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
Why’s a fat woman like a skateboard?
They’re both fun to ride, but you wouldn’t want your friends to see you on one.
A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick.
A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her.
‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says.
‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde.
‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’
Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds?
She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.
Why did the policeman carry a pencil and a piece of very thin paper?
He wanted to trace someone.
He drank like a fish.
Which would have been okay if he’d drunk what the fish drinks.
Yo momma’s so fat, when she walked in front of the television I missed three commercials.
Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
I gave up alcohol last year.
It was the longest 20 minutes of my life.
What are the six worst years in a blonde’s life?
Third grade.