what do you call a nigger woman having an abortion? A crime stopper!
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina." Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper.
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.