Best jokes ever

John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?" "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?" John thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license." Judi, sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him -- he's just a wise guy when he's drunk and stoned." Brian from the back seat said, "I told you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!" At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
A guy is sitting at the bar watching the game and enjoying his beer. Another guy strolls over and they begin to converse. After a while the second asks if he had ever played "beer football?" He said no, and asked how to play. "Well, if you chug a beer, you get 6 points, and if you bend over and fart, you get an extra point." So, the second guy starts off by chugging his beer and farting. The first man chugged his beer with ease, and when he bent over to fart, the second guy came up and kicked him in the butt and exclaimed, "BLOCK THE KICK!"
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Why beer goes through your system so fast? Because it does not have to stop to change color.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
What do you give a cat for its birthday? A catologue.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: kids
Your Mommas so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale!
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
I know a lady who blew her man's jimmy off because he wanted to be down with O.P.P. Now he down with No P.P.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: life
What time does Andy Murray go to his bed? Ten-ish.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
Yo momma’s so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
I’ve just come into some money. I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold? A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde, health
<<<1203120412051206
More jokes →
Page 1203 of 1391.