what do you call a nigger woman having an abortion?
A crime stopper!
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time.
Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina."
Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Q: What do you call an afghan virgin
A: Never bin laid on.
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How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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