A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland. She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A: A love call.
Men are like.....Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
What do you get if you cross a hippo, elephant and a rhino? A Helephino!!