Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
My girlfriend used to fake foreplay. A man falls asleep on a beach and gets severe sunburn. He’s rushed to hospital by his wife
What’s the difference between a nigger and a canoe? The canoe is floating!
What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies? One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
What about Where does a General keep his Armys? In his sleevies!
Why do blondes clean their hair in the sink? Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."