Best jokes ever

A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now."
Vote: has 31.40 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, science
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
Vote: has 31.39 % from 100 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
What do u call a black priest? Holy shit.
Vote: has 31.31 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, god, priest
The soldier serving in Iraq was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks: "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man." says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, funeral, management, navy
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
A math teacher asks a pupil, what are 3, 5, 7 and 11? The pupil thinks for a moment and then replies, "On 3 there is cartoon network, on 5 we have cartoon network, on 7 dad checks out news-bulletin and the channel that comes by pressing 11 on the remote is FTV, which my brother watches late at night."
Vote: has 31.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, math, technology
Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
Vote: has 31.14 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler