Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
What’s the difference between your wage packet and your trouser packet? You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your wage packet.
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
If you want to know why men are called the 'opposite sex', express an opinion!
How did the blonde die icefishing? She got run over by the zamboni!
Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
Why did the Irishman give up internet shopping? The trolley kept falling off the computer.