Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
Why did God give women belly buttons? For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Elephant Man would have paid to see her.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she went to a mind reader and was only charged half price.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards. If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up. Birth control would come in ale or lager. Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.