Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "Are you two an item?"
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Yo momma’s so fat, when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white.
Slut - "I hate you bitch" Blonde - "Your such a slut, I bet your naked under those clothes."
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music? Class-ical.
A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite. ‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk. ‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?" And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"