Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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Q: What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
A: Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner.
It's like it wasn't even designed for women.
How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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What has a head, a tail, and no body?
A coin!
Q: What vegetables to librarians like?
A: Quiet peas.