Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
Vote:
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Vote:
Yo momma’s so fat, when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white.
Slut - "I hate you bitch"
Blonde - "Your such a slut, I bet your naked under those clothes."
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music?
Class-ical.
A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite.
‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk.
‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?"
And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"