Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
Vote:
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.”
“Amazing,” said the councilor. “How did you do it?”
“I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
Vote:
Slut - "I hate you bitch"
Blonde - "Your such a slut, I bet your naked under those clothes."
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music?
Class-ical.
A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite.
‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk.
‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
Vote:
Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.