What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A whine and cheese party.
Yo mama so bald, when she braids her hair, it looks like stitches.
A drunk phones the police to report that thieves have been in his car. ‘They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,’ he cries out… ‘Oh hang on. I’m in the back seat.’
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
Q: If a black guy is driving a bicycle why shouldn't I hit him? A: Because it's probably my bicycle.
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.
What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
Billy: "I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me." Mark: "Haha, how does an Asian cross you?" Billy: "Because he crosses multiplies."