Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
Why are black people good at basketball? Because they run, shoot and steal.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Yo mamas so fat that she fought a war with her own farts.
Yo mama's so fat she uses two greyhound buses as rollerblades.
Why did the man keep doing the backstroke? He’d just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach!
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?