A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?"
And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
Yo mama so hairy when you were born you almost died of rugburn.
Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed.
Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however.
She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached?
I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg.
Jill wasn't having any of it.
"Do you think I don't like variety?
I wanted poached this morning!"
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop.
J(ohnny):I want a pistol
S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this,
S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
J: For shooting cans.
S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
S: And what cans will you shoot at?
J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Vote:
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
Vote:
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable.
I just go up and down.
Vote: